Pride and Prejudice, a play founded on Jane Austen's novel

Certainly, Mr. Collins. [Hesitating.] But there have been some changes since then. Some things have happened – I think it is right you should know, that – that Jane is very likely to be soon engaged. [Encouragingly.] But there is Elizabeth. I cannot take it upon myself to say – I cannot possibly answer – but I do not know of any prepossession in her case, and I am sure she can have no objection to listen to you.

[Mrs. Bennet goes to the fire and stirs it.]

Mr. Collins

[As soon as she has finished.] Then Miss Elizabeth let it be, Madam. I was struck by her attitude of respectful awe when I mentioned the Lady Catherine de Bourg. Such modesty and humility of mind cannot but recommend her to my patroness.

Mrs. Bennet

[Looking rather astonished at this last speech, but recovering herself.] Yes, my daughter Elizabeth knows what is proper. She will be very happy to listen to you. Shall I call her now?

Mr. Collins

I think, Madam, there should be no further loss of time, as my leave of absence extends only to the coming Saturday.

Mrs. Bennet

Very well – [She goes to the recess where the two girls are talking together.] Jane, I want you upstairs. Lizzy, Mr. Collins has something he wishes to say to you.

Elizabeth

[Suspicious and dismayed.] Dear ma'am, Mr. Collins must excuse me. I was just going away myself.

Mrs. Bennet

Now, no nonsense, Lizzy! I desire you will stay. Mr. Collins has something very particular to say to you. [As Elizabeth tries to escape.] Lizzy, I insist upon your staying and hearing Mr. Collins. Come, Jane – [Mrs. Bennet and Jane go out.]

Mr. Collins

[Approaching Elizabeth, who does not move from the place where her mother left her.] Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, your modesty so far from doing you any disservice rather adds to your other perfections. But allow me to assure you that I have your respected mother's permission for this address. [He escorts Elizabeth with clumsy gallantry to the sofa, then brings a chair and seats himself opposite to her. Elizabeth has recovered herself sufficiently to begin to enjoy the humour of the situation.] My fair cousin, you must have at least surmised that I am about to ask you to become the companion of my life. And perhaps I had better begin by stating my reasons for this decision before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject. [Elizabeth is so overcome with laughter at this idea that she can hardly speak, or keep a decent countenance.]

Elizabeth

Oh, I beg, Mr. Collins —

Mr. Collins

One moment. My reasons for marrying are, first, – that I think it a right thing for every clergyman to set the example of matrimony to his parish; second, I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; third, it is the particular advice of that very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness.

Elizabeth

[With more command of her voice.] Believe me, Mr. Collins —

Mr. Collins

Excuse me – one moment. It remains only to be told why my views were directed to Longbourn instead of to my own neighbourhood. The fact is that, being as I am to inherit this estate after the death of your father (who, however, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event took place. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem.

Elizabeth

Mr. Collins, – I —

Mr. Collins

[Rising and approaching nearer to Elizabeth.] Still one moment more! And now nothing remains for me but to assure you, in the most animated language, of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach on that score shall ever pass my lips when we are married.

Elizabeth

[Rising in her turn.] You are too hasty, sir! You forget that I have made no answer. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me. I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them.

Mr. Collins

[With another formal wave of the hand.] I am not unmindful of the fact that sometimes a young lady's refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am, therefore, by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and I shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.

Elizabeth

Upon my word, sir, your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration! You must pay me the compliment of believing what I say. I wish you very happy, and very rich, and, by refusing your hand, do all in my power to prevent your being otherwise. This matter may be considered, therefore, as definitely settled.

[She is about to leave the room when Mr. Collins detains her.]

Mr. Collins

One moment. When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on this subject, I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer.

Elizabeth

[Becoming angry.] Really, Mr. Collins, you puzzle me exceedingly. I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.

Mr. Collins

You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin, that your refusals of my address are merely words, of course. I shall choose to attribute them to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females.

Elizabeth

[Very decidedly.] Please do not consider me now as an 'elegant female'; I would rather be paid the compliment of being believed sincere. To accept your proposal is absolutely impossible. Can I speak plainer?

Mr. Collins

[With awkward gallantry.] You are uniformly charming; but I am persuaded that when my proposals are sanctioned by both your parents they will not fail of being acceptable. Meanwhile I may perhaps best serve my cause by leaving you to consider the matter by yourself for a while.

[He bows and withdraws to the door. Elizabeth with a gesture as if she gave the whole matter up in despair, and yet half amused, goes to the fireplace. Just as Mr. Collins reaches the door Mrs. Bennet opens it.]

Mrs. Bennet

Well, Mr. Collins, are we to congratulate each other? [Looking doubtfully at Elizabeth.] Has all gone as you could wish?

Mr. Collins

I have every reason to be satisfied, Madam. My cousin has indeed steadily refused this, my first offer, and with considerable warmth, but this refusal would naturally flow from her bashful modesty. With your influence behind me, I have no doubt of my ultimate success.