Boxen: Childhood Chronicles Before Narnia

‘Wish we could,’ laughed the ’jah.

Seeing that he could make no impression on them the Frog was silent while the carriage rapidly drove to Riverside where at last all three thoroughly annoyed staggered to bed.

IX

His Majesties gunboat Thrush to which Mr Bar belonged in the capacity of Purser & Master of the commisariat was a tidy vessel of some 500 odd tons. Five of her crew birthed aft, namely Murray, the skipper, Hogge the 1st officer, Williamson, the gunnery officer, Macfail, the 1st engineer, & last but not least Bar the purser. Just at present she was a day out from Murry on her voyage to Floe, & it was the captain’s watch. Suddenly the look-out reported the Pig-liner Dolfinian on the port bow. Quarter of an hour later the two boats were within haling distance of one another, & Captain Murray ordered the other to stop. In a short time the gig was lowered & the inspection was made. Among other casual facts which the captain happenned to notice was that the 1st mate was a Prussian. Bar only among the Thrush’s crew realised that it was Glohenman’s brother & how he had got there.

A day later after the Dolfinian had got in Green & Philip Glohenman sat in the Inner of the Murryman’s rest.

‘Well my friend,’ said the parrot, ‘Your brother, as you see, is safely in the Pig line.’

‘Yes, my dear bird. I can never express my gratitude.’

Polonius looked sharply up.

‘Eh! What about my cliqueship?’

‘Mr Green?’

‘I thought we had a bargain.’

‘No, no, Mr Green.’

The parrot was furious.

‘You promised me a cliqueship,’ he repeated doggedly.

‘My good bird, this parrotlike repetition is most annoying.’

Leaving the speechless bird, the Prussian rose & strode out. The unfortunate Green was unable to compell him to carry out their compact. He of course could not bring it before a court or he would be putting his own head in the noose for blackmail. Suddenly he remembered that he had arranged to go with Macgoullah that evening to Sengeletto.

X

On the Friday after the ever memorable Saturday the Murry Opera House was crowded with people attracted to Sengelleto by the vocal powers of Wullês, Mlle. Armanche, & the rest of the fine company. There in the dress circle are Pig & Bradley, in the stalls Hedges & others of his type. There too was Goose in his box, Puddiphat with Phyllis Legrange, both looking immensely bored. There were Quicksteppe & Chutney who share a box. All eyes were directed upon the royal box, which as yet was empty. In the pit sat Green & Macgoullah, the later fortified with a gladstone bag of oranges. Presently the door of the Royal box opened & in walked the two kings followed by the Little Master walked in.

‘A good house Big,’ said the ’jah.

‘Boys!’ said the Frog suddenly.

‘Yes.’

‘Look at that Owl,’ said Big, despairingly indicating the opposite box which contained Puddiphat, & ‘who’s that woman?’

Meanwhile in the owl’s box another animated conversation was going on.

‘I say Puddles,’ said Phyllis, ‘Who’s that toad in the Royal Box?’

‘It’s a good job he didn’t hear you call him a toad. He’s the Little Master.’

During the dialogue the orchestra had begun to attack the overture with great vigour & spirit, but she continued in a loud tone.

‘Listen to that Puddles. Do you call that music?’

‘It is usually thought so.’

‘Hush’ came from various parts of the house, especially the pit. Phyllis leaned out of the box & blissfully unconscious that she was referred to said, ‘What on earth are the people in the pit making that noise for?’

‘I believe they’re annoyed at our talking,’ rejoined Puddiphat in a hurt tone. ‘Hullo, we’re getting to business.’ And indeed the curtain was rising on the first scene of the great opera. Big settled down to sleep, Puddiphat retired to the bar, & Macgoullah set in on his oranges. Goose annoyed everyone near him by humming out of tune: the boys settled down to a conversation which lasted till the drop scene fell on the impassioned strains of Marita’s great aria. The boys strolled out & across to Puddiphat’s box.

‘Good evening, Majesties.’

‘Puddiphat. Good evening Miss Legrange,’ said the rabbit.

‘What do you think of it Puddles?’ inquired the rajah.

‘Oh very good, excellent,’ said the Owl, ‘What I heard of it.’

‘Yes,’ said Phyllis, ‘he’s been out all the time.’

‘And what,’ said the ’jah turning to her, ‘did you think?’

‘To be frank, your Majesties, I thought it great rubbish.’

Just at this point the prelude to the 2nd act began & the boys returned to their own box. The second act was famous only for a chorus of prisoners which caused Puddiphat & his fair companion to yawn more than before. As the curtain fell, the manager sent an attendant to tell Goose that he must stop humming or else go out. Meanwhile the pit was talking also.

‘Well?’ said Polonius.

‘Ah it’s cod,’ said Macgoullah.

‘Cod!?’ cried the musical Green aghast, ‘I’d like to see you write it!’

‘I wouldn’t!’ said Macgoullah, ‘Try another orange?’

The curtain now rose upon the 3rd act. Meanwhile in the bar a different conversation was going on. It was occupied by two Prussians, Philip Glohenman & another.

‘The bird actually blackmailed me. And now he wants me to get him a cliqueship.’

‘Well,’ said the stranger, ‘get him one. Our object is to place the new Clique under an obligation to us.’

‘But my dear Dangle, do you think that I would trust to their mere gratitude?’

‘I suppose not, but you must conciliate him. In Turkey at Fortressa I overheard a conversation in an inn & it seems he’s been telling things to Goose.’

‘I might make a bargain –’

‘Yes.’

The dropscene fell some hours later on the 8th & last act of the opera & as the audience walked out no one thought less of the piece than Philip Glohenman. But he thought.