Boxen: Childhood Chronicles Before Narnia

‘It is true.’

‘Then there isn’t going to be a new Clique?’

‘Oh no. We are quite safe.’

Meanwhile in the Inner of the Murryman’s rest the situation was also being discussed by Green and Glohenman.

‘Do you hear,’ cried the parrot, ‘that that lizard has given it up!’

‘Well, we weren’t going to have him in it any way.’

‘No, but I wonder who told him?’

XIII

On Monday very few members failed to attend the debate. The Murry House, a spacious building situated on Watermans Road, was crowded to its full. There on an obscure back bench sat Mr Green, interested & excited: there is Mr Bar with Captain Murray winking at their friends in the gallery. There also in the gallery sit the two Glohenmans: there on the front bench is Macgoullah in a new blue serge suit & a clean wooden pipe, looking very bored. The Clique (whose days even now are numbered), consisting of Quicksteppe, Colonel Chutney, Goose, Puddiphat, & Pig, & presided over by their Majesties & the Little Master are absent in the Clique-room. But all eyes are fixed on the door by which they come in. Presently it opened & the Clique, loudly cheered, filed in, M’Lord Little Master & the Kings seating themselves on the raised triple throne. Big rose & walked to the rostrum: ‘Your Majesties, & gentlemen of the house: we are met here to day to discuss Mr Orring’s new Clique Bill. This honourable member however has not turned u – is not present. Consequently, unless any of his party wish to bring in a new Clique Bill we will –’

‘I do M’Lord,’ this from the parrot.

‘Very well. Will you please speak on it?’

‘I should imagine so,’ said Green brusquely.

Big tiptoed back to the throne & whispered to the Rajah ‘That parrot!’

The latter meanwhile began to speak: – ‘Your Majesties, Little-Master & gentlemen of the house: in bringing in this bill, I’m not going to have any pother like some learned friends’ – (Big outraged) – ‘I’ll be plain: It strikes me, that this Clique has had its fair share.’ (laughter: ‘Order!’ from the usher) ‘India is not equally represented with Animalland.’ (At this juncture Puddiphat & Pig got out & went to be bar.) ‘I propose fer the new Clique –’ (Big whispered ‘Ah he’s a vulgar bird.’) ‘– the same Little Master, Mr Oliver Vant, Colonel Fortescue, Sir Bradshaw, a – and – ahem – yer’s trooly.’ (Big was wild.)

Mr Pig rose, & went [to] the rostrum: – ‘Your Majesties, Little Master, & gentleman of the –’

‘Take tha-at fer said,’ broke in Mr Green.

‘Turn the bird out!!!’ cried the infuriated Little-Master, glad of an opportunity for venting his wrath on the unfortunate parrot.

‘– house,’ continued Pig calmly. ‘I rise to oppose the motion –’ (Cheers. ‘Silence!’) ‘– on the ground that Mr O. Vant & Mr P. Green are unfit to hold office.’ (Big – ‘Short & poor, boys!’)

The Little-Master sent the house into the lobbies & the ballot was passed round. Amid tense excitement they returned & read out ‘The motion passes by a majority of 70 votes to 29 votes.’ Then in a whisper, ‘Now Hawki.’

The sovereign rose & said – ‘I do declare the new Clique lawfully to be a Clique in accordance with the laws & customs of the Boxonian government.’

No sooner had he ceased to speak than a storm of cheering & shouts of ‘Long live their Majesties’ & ‘Long live the new Clique.’ Macgoullah alone in the house shouted ‘Long live the dismissed Clique!’

As the M.P.’s trooped out Quicksteppe said to Goose ‘I’m not sorrey, after all.’

THE END

–“I‘M NOT SORREY”–

THE LOCKED DOOR AND THAN-KYU

THE LOCKED DOOR

Sequal to ‘Boxen’ & a short sketch entitled

‘Than-Kyu’

CHAPTER I

Three months had passed, on the day on which this history opens, since the famous old Clique of Boxen had been broken up to give place to another of younger and more energetic members: and as yet no meeting of this new Clique had been held. Lord Big The Frog, Little Master, detested the new Walterian cabinet and above all Polonius Green, – a member thereof.

On this particular day, Their Majesties were breakfasting with the Little Master at the Palace Calcutta. The frog appeared more than usually annoyed when they arrived late.

‘Upon my word, boys,’ he exclaimed, ‘I’m sick with hunger.’

‘We’re sorrey,’ said Benjamin, ‘but after all there’s no hurry.’

‘No hurry?’ asked Big. ‘Do you know to day is Friday?’

‘What about it?’ inquired the Rajah.

‘Hawki!’

‘Big?’

‘Dont you remember about the meeting?’

‘Oh, it’s that disgusting new Clique-meeting!’

‘Well let us have some breakfast in the mean time,’ suggested Bunny, who was beginning to feel hungry. Acting upon this advice, they all three sat down and adressed themselves with vigour to the eggsoak and curried prauns provided. A curious trio did they form.

LORD BIG INTERVIEWING GENERAL QUICKSTEPPE AT THE LATTER’S RESIDENCE OF SATING HOUSE

The Little Master was a stout frog of massive build, and on the wrong side of 60. His expression was that of a naturally masterful person, given power by exterior circumstances, but slightly pompous & inclined to worrey over small affairs: in appearance he was handsome, and was clad faultlessly in the fashion of 30 years ago. The Rajah was a young man of about 35, happy, careless, and humourous. The rabbit was like his fellow monarch but slightly stouter and not so agile.

After a long pause, the frog observed, ‘I could put up with anyone in the Clique except that parrot Polonius Green! An ungentlemanly bird, of moderate faculties, and a set of nasty jokes.’

‘I don’t like him much myself,’ said Bunny, ‘but he’s very funny at times.’

‘Ah, he’s very funny at times!!’ repeated Lord Big sarcastically. ‘If you would only do as I desire & sign a formal objection to the bird, it would be to the point.’

‘But my dear Big,’ protested the Rajah, ‘one can’t fly in the face of the country’s will.’

‘Your fathers,’ said Big, ‘were kings in the truer sense of the word. The late rajah was not afraid to suspend from the house itself a member he disliked. Benjamin’s father was known to do many such things.’

‘But in those days –’

‘Kings could be men,’ vociferated the Little Master with unusual vigour.

‘Well,’ said the Rajah, ‘do I understand that you really object to the fellow?’