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A Cry In The Night

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2018
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“Looks like our little guy climbed down.”

“But…it’s so steep. How did he….” Because she didn’t want to think of her son braving such a treacherous climb, she let the words trail.

“Maybe he climbed down to help you.”

The thought of Eddie trekking down that dangerously steep ravine to help her ripped at her, tearing her from the inside out. She’d sworn she wasn’t going to cry or succumb to hysterics, but the thought of her little boy risking his life to help her when she’d been hurt shattered the last of her control.

She put her hand over her mouth to smother a sob. “Oh, God, Buzz. He’s so brave.”

“Easy, Kel. Just take it easy for me, okay?”

“I want him back.”

“I know, honey.”

Kelly closed her eyes tightly against the tears, but they squeezed through her lashes and ran unchecked down her cheeks. The sob that tore from her throat didn’t sound at all like her. Not like Kelly Malone who’d been standing on her own two feet since she was fifteen years old. Not the young girl who’d lost not only her father, but her brother and then spent the rest of her teenaged years taking care of the broken woman who had once been her mother.

But the pain was too great and refused to be bridled. Wrapping her arms around herself, Kelly doubled over, felt a sob wrench from her throat. “Where is he?” she cried.

“Shh. Kel, hey, settle down. I want you to take a deep breath for me, okay?”

She tried to suck in a breath, but all she managed was a keening sound that echoed off the trees like the cries of a dying animal.

“Kel….”

“I want my son.”

“Come here.”

She barely heard the whispered words over the tide of grief within her. But slowly they penetrated the fog of pain, the fear of the unknown, and registered in her brain. Come here. An offer of comfort when she desperately needed it. She knew what it was like to be wrapped within those strong arms. To have that gentle voice reassure her. For those hands to caress away her pain and fear. She knew better than to give in to that kind of temptation. But Kelly was tired of being strong. Tired of being alone. For a little while, she wanted to step into that strong embrace and just be held.

Buzz took the decision away from her. Without bothering to remove his rappelling harness, he reached for her. Strong hands closed around her arms and pulled her to him. Kelly started to protest, but he shushed her gently. She didn’t remember falling against him. Or wrapping her arms around those rock-solid shoulders. She knew getting close like this was dangerous business, that she should pull away. But the next thing she knew he was holding her close, molding her body to his and she was helpless to resist. All the while the scent of his aftershave curled around her brain, reminding her of how right it had once felt to be wrapped within this man’s embrace.

“I need him back, Buzz. It’s killing me.” She was sobbing now. Wrenching sobs that bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her where the pain was unbearable and her body and heart could no longer contain it.

“We’ll get him back.”

“He’s everything to me.”

“Shh. We’ll find him.” Gently, he stroked the back of her head. “Let it out, honey. Just cry it out. I’ve got you.”

Kelly didn’t want to cry. Not again. But the pain had been hammering at her for nearly six hours now. The element of the unknown beckoned her beleaguered mind to conjure unspeakable possibilities. She simply couldn’t bear it if something terrible happened to her little boy.

“Promise me we’re going to find him,” she whispered. “Please, promise me.”

“Kel—”

“Say it,” she said fiercely. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I promise. We’ll find him. Just…be still a moment, okay?”

The rush of tears ended as quickly as it had descended. In its wake, Kelly felt calmer. Still afraid, but somehow stronger. Purged.

“Better?” Buzz asked.

She wasn’t sure why the question embarrassed her, but it did. Kelly wasn’t a helpless female, couldn’t bear for this strong man to think of her that way. “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” she said. “I don’t usually have emotional meltdowns.”

“Considering the circumstances, I won’t hold it against you.”

Tilting her head back just enough to look at him, she smiled thinly. “I appreciate that.”

“You’ve been holding it together remarkably well. You’re doing just fine.”

Only then did she realize his arms were still around her, and he was close enough for her to feel the warm brush of his breath against her cheek. Awareness zinged through her. She felt the hard planes of his body against hers, his warmth radiating into her, taking away the chill that had sunk all the way to her bones. He smelled of soap and man and the subtle scent of an aftershave that brought back a jumble of memories she was crazy to think of now.

Realizing she’d nearly trespassed into territory best left alone, she eased away from him. “Where did you see the sneaker print?” she asked.

“At the base of the ravine.”

“Where do you think he went?”

Buzz studied her intently in the ribbon of light cast by his flashlight. “I don’t think he climbed back up that wall.”

The words registered slowly. Kelly’s pulse spiked, and she took another step back. “Do you think the volunteers that came through earlier missed him?”

“Maybe. Boulder SAR is a relatively new outfit. A lot of the guys are rookies. Lots of energy and training, but they lack experience.”

A starburst of hope exploded in her heart. “They didn’t look in that ravine, did they?”

“Maybe not.”

“I need to go down there.”

“All I’ve got with me is a light tactical harness. It’s pretty basic; nothing fancy. Think you can rappel down?”

It didn’t matter if she remembered how to rappel or not. Come hell or high water she was going down there. She just wouldn’t tell him she hadn’t touched a rappelling harness since they’d scaled Deep River Gorge together over six years ago. She knew him too well to tell the truth. “Of course I can.”

“The harness is minimal. Lightweight. Think you can handle it?”

She nodded, already reaching for the harness and stepping into it. “No problem.”

Reaching around her, he looped the rope through the caribiner and doubled it back over the pine tree. “I’ll spot you from up here. Keep the light on you.”

“Okay.”

“When you reach the ravine floor, unharness yourself and I’ll pull it up and meet you down there.”

Impatient now, Kelly walked over to the edge of the ravine and looked over her shoulder at the darkness below.
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