e: A Novel

debbie_wright@littlewoods/manchester.co.uk

5/1/00, 4.45pm

to… lorraine_pallister@millershanks-london.co.uk

cc…

re… still here

Glad you’re still in employment, doll. Just one word of warning on the Bart/Brad/Liam thing: just remember what happened when you shagged that bloke in the Hacienda cos you thought he looked like Goldie … Debs

Katie Philpott – 3/1/00, 4.58pm

to… Liam O’Keefe

cc…

re… genius!

Harriet has just shown James and me your idea for Mako and I think it’s absolutely, totally brill! Well done! I don’t know how you creative chaps come up with it. Me, I haven’t got a creative bone in my bod – totally hopeless! See you later, clever clogs – Katie P

Harriet Greenbaum – 5/1/00, 4.59pm

to… Lorraine Pallister

cc… David Crutton

re… urgent

Lorraine, could I see David as soon as he’s out of his meeting on a very urgent matter? It regards Mako and an excellent idea that he must look at.

Rachel Stevenson – 5/1/00, 5.00pm

to… Nigel Godley

cc…

re… going, going …

Nigel, I don’t wish to be rude as I value your commitment to the company tremendously. However, IT tells me your e-mails are clogging the already over-burdened server. I’ve also had a number of complaints from people tired of wasting time on trivial memos. As I said, your hard work is appreciated. Please keep it up. Just go easy on the all-staffers.

Harriet Greenbaum – 5/1/00, 5.02pm

to… James Gregory; Katie Philpott

cc…

re… drop everything

David wants to see us right away. His office, two minutes.

Brett Topowlski – 5/1/00, 5.04pm

to… Liam O’Keefe

cc…

re… arsehole

Complimenting our work? It must be fucking brilliant. Horne shat on us big time. Had a go at everything, including Vin’s T-shirt. Even threatened to take us off LOVE – twat. I’ve been on the phone to the headhunter. Vin called his mum. Apparently, she once went to his school and kicked the living shit out of his maths teacher when he got a bad mark. Said teacher needed reconstructive surgery on his ear. Letitia the fluffy headhunter had fuck-all in the way of jobs, so I reckon we’ll call in Mrs Douglas and her big baseball bat. We’re off to BZ – no point hanging round where we’re not wanted. See you there.