Monsieur De Pourceaugnac

Mr. Pour. (aside). Heyday! At what a pace she goes, and how she takes fire!

Oro. I should very much like to know, Mr. de Pourceaugnac, for what reason you …

Jul. (approaches Mr. de Pourceaugnac, looks at him with a languishing look, and tries to take his hand). How pleased I am to see you! And how impatient I am to …

Oro. Hey! daughter, go away; will you?

Mr. Pour. (aside). What a free and easy young damsel!

Oro. I should like to know what made you have the boldness to… (Julia continues as above.)

Mr. Pour. (aside). By Jove!

Oro. (to Julia). Again! What do you mean?

Jul. May I not kiss the husband you have chosen for me?

Oro. No; go in.

Jul. Allow me to look at him.

Oro. Go in, I tell you.

Jul. I should like to stop here, if you please.

Oro. I will not suffer it. If you do not go in immediately, I …

Jul. Very well then, I will go in.

Oro. My daughter is a foolish girl who does not understand things.

Mr. Pour. (aside). How taken she is with me!

Oro. ( to Julia, who has stopped). You won't go.

Jul. When will yon marry me to this gentleman?

Oro. Never. You are not intended for him.

Jul. I will have him, I will have him; you promised him to me.

Oro. If I promised him to you, I take my promise back again.

Mr. Pour. (aside). She would fain eat me.

Jul. Do what you will, we will be married in spite of everybody.

Oro. I shall know how to prevent it, I forewarn you. What madness has taken hold of her?

SCENE VII. – ORONTE, MR. DE POURCEAUGNAC

Mr. Pour. I say, our intended father-in-law, don't give yourself so much trouble; I have no intention of running away with your daughter; and your pretence won't take at all.

Oro. And yours will in no way succeed.

Mr. Pour. Did you think that Leonardo de Pourceaugnac is a man to buy a pig in a poke, and that he has not the sense to find out what goes on in the world, and to see if, in marrying, his honour is safe?

Oro. I do not know what you mean; but did you take into your head that a man of sixty-three years old has so little common sense, and so little consideration for his daughter, as to marry her to a man who has you know what, and who was put with a doctor to be cured?

Mr. Pour. This is a trick that was practised upon me, and there is nothing the matter with me.

Oro. The doctor told us so himself.

Mr. Pour. The doctor told a lie. I am a gentleman, and I will meet him sword in hand.

Oro. I know what I ought to believe, and you can no more impose upon me in this matter than about the debts you are bound to pay on your marriage day.

Mr. Pour. What debts?

Oro. It is of no use to affect ignorance. I have seen the Flemish merchant who with other creditors obtained a decision against you eight months ago.

Mr. Pour. What Flemish merchant? What creditors? What decision obtained against me?

Oro. You know perfectly well what I mean.

SCENE VIII. – MR. DR POURCEAUGNAC, ORONTE, LUCETTE

Luc. (pretending to be a woman from Languedoc). [12 - Somerset dialect is employed here.] Oh, yèu be yur, be'e! an' I've avoun thee to làs, àrter all this yur tràepsin' vùrwurd an' backward. Cans thee now, yèu rascal; cans leuk me in the fae-as?

Mr. Pour. What is it this woman wants?

Luc. What do I want o' thee, yèu villun! Thee's mak wise neet to know me, disn? an' thee disn turn rid nuther, èempodent oseburd that thee art! What! thee witn turn colour vur to leuk me in the fae-as! (To Oronte) I baent sàaf, Maister, nif'tis yèu that they do zay 'ee weeshth vur to marry wi' the darter o'? but 'owsomever I zwear to yèu, I be the weiv o' un, an' that zeben yur agone when 'ee was a travellin' drue Pézenas, he made out, we' 'iz falseness, that 'ee knowth zo wul 'ow vur act vur to come over my 'art, an' zo by one way or tother vur to git me vur to gèe unmy 'an vur to marry un.

Oro. Oh! oh!

Luc. The rascal lef me dree yur àrterwurds, purtendin' that 'eed agot some bizness vur to deu in 'iz own country, an' ivur sinz I 'ant ayeard no news at all o' un; but when I wadn thinkin' nothin' 'tall 'bout 'ee, I yeard 'em say as 'ow 'ee was acomin' yur, into this yur town, vur to be amarried agee'an wi' another young ummun, that her father an' mother 'd apromised teu un athout knowin' nothin' 'ow that 'ee was amarried avore. Zo I starts toràcly, an' I be acome yur to this yur place so zeun's ivur I pausible keud, vur to staup this yur wicked marridge, an' vur to show op, avore all the wurld, the very wissest man that iver was.

Mr. Pour. What wonderful impudence!

Luc. Eempurence! Baent yèu ashèe'amd o' yurzul vur to mak sport o' me, 'stid o' bein' abroke down wi' eenward feelins, that thee wicked 'art aurt vur to gee thee?

Mr. Pour. Do you mean to say that I am your husband?

Luc. Villun! dis dare to zay tidn zo? Ah! thee's know wul 'nuf, wiss luck to me, that tis all zo treu's the Gauspel; an' I weesh to Heben twadn zo, an' that thee'ds alef me so èenocent an' so quiet like eens I used to be, avore thy charms an' thy trumpery, bad luck, made me vur to 'sake it all! I nivur sheudn abin abrought down vur to be the pour weesh thing that I be now – vur to zee my man, cruel like, mak a laughin' sport of all the love that I've a 'ad vorn, an' lef me athout one beet o' pity, vur the mortal pàin I've abeared, 'bout the shee'amful way 'eev asàrd me.

Oro. Really, I feel quite ready to weep. Go! you are a wicked man!

SCENE IX. – MR. DE POURCEAUGNAC, NÉRINE, LUCETTE, ORONTE