Monsieur De Pourceaugnac

Mr. Pour. Not at all. It is only common sense which tells me that I shall always be admitted to be justified by facts, and that I could not be condemned upon a simple accusation, without witnesses, evidence, and confrontation with my adverse party.

Sbri. This is more clever still.

Mr. Pour. These words come into my head without my knowledge.

Sbri. It seems to me that the common sense of a gentleman may go so far as to understand what belongs to right and the order of justice, but not to know the very terms of chicane.

Mr. Pour. They are a few words I remember from reading novels.

Sbri. Ah! I see.

Mr. Pour. To show you that I understand nothing of chicane, I beg of you to take me to a lawyer to have advice upon this affair.

Sbri. Willingly. I will take you to two very clever men; but, first, I must tell you not to be surprised at their manner of speaking. They have contracted at the bar a certain habit of declaiming which looks like singing, and you would think all they tell you is nothing but music.

Mr. Pour. It does not matter how they speak, as long as they tell me what I wish to know!

SCENE XIII. – MR. DE POURCEAUGNAC, SBRIGANI, TWO LAWYERS, TWO ATTORNEYS, TWO SERGEANTS

1st Lawyer (drawling out his words)

Polygamy's a case, you find,
A case of hanging.

2nd Lawyer (singing and speaking very fast)

Your deed
Is plain and clear,
And all the gear
Of wigs and law
Upon this flaw
One verdict bear.
Consult our authors,
Legislators and glossators,
Justinian, Papinian,
Ulpian and Tribonian,
Fernand, Rebuffe, Jean Imole,
Paul Castro, Julian Barthole, [15 - The French forms have been retained for the sake of the rhyme.]
Jason, Aloyat, and Cujas
That mighty mind!
Polygamy's a case, you'll find,
A case of hanging.

Ballet, while the 2nd Lawyer sings as before

All nations civilised,
French, Dutch, and English,
Portuguese, Germans, Flemish,
Italians and Spanish,
By wisdom's sceptre swayed,
For this the self-same law have made.
The affair allows no doubt,
Polygamy's a case,
A case of hanging.

(Mr. de Pourceaugnac, irritated, drives them all away.)

ACT III

SCENE I. – ÉRASTE, SBRIGANI

Sbri. Yes; everything is succeeding splendidly; and as his knowledge of things is very shallow, and his understanding of the poorest, I put him in such a terrible fright at the severity of the law in this country, and at the preparations which were already set on foot to put him to death,[16 - Bigamists were really put to death.] that he is determined to run away, and in order the better to escape from the people who, I have told him, are placed at the city gates to stop him, he has decided upon disguising himself as a woman.

Era. How I should like to see him dressed up in that way!

Sbri. Take care you carry out the farce properly; and whilst I go through my parts with him, you go and … (Whispers to him.) You understand, don't you?

Era. Yes.

Sbri. And when I have taken him where I mean… (Whispers.)

Era. All right.

Sbri. And when the father has been forewarned by me… (Whispers.)

Era. Nothing could be better.

Sbri. Here is our young lady. Go quickly; she must not see us together.

SCENE II. – MR. DE POURCEAUGNAC (as a lady), SBRIGANI

Sbri. For my part, I don't think any one can know you, and you look exactly like a lady of birth.

Mr. Pour. I am so astonished that in this province the forms of justice should not be observed.

Sbri. Yes; as I have already told you, they begin by hanging a man, and try him afterwards.

Mr. Pour. What unjust justice!

Sbri. It is devilishly severe, particularly on this kind of crime.

Mr. Pour. Still, when one is innocent?

Sbri. Ah me! They care little for that, and, besides, they have here a most intolerable hatred for the people of your province; and nothing gives them more pleasure than to hang a man from Limoges. [17 - Molière seems to have had a grudge against Limoges. Compare act i. scene i.]

Mr. Pour. What have the people from Limoges done to them?

Sbri. How do I know? They are downright brutes, enemies to all the gentility and merit of other cities. For my part, I am in the greatest fear on your account, and I should never comfort myself if you were hanged.