Yes, Please. Whatever!: How to get the best out of your teenagers

personal appearance

Unfortunately, everywhere we look, whether it is advertising hoardings, magazines or TV and films, unrealistic body shapes are looming down on us. Obviously our children are going to emulate their idols, boys wanting ‘six-packs’ and girls wanting to be a size 8 with breast implants. It is total madness, but sadly, here to stay for the foreseeable future. Our problem is how to encourage our children to eat for their present and future health and to help them feel satisfied with their own body.

How to Help

Raising their self-esteem is the first step towards a healthy goal. Parents using the words ‘fat’ or ‘overweight’ with regard to their children could possibly trigger a fast-track decision to dieting and possibly eating disorders.

Explain to your children that everyone’s body shape develops at different times and maybe offer an example of someone they know and admire. Explain that even as adults your body shape can change, especially after having children – women with no bust before children can end up with a size D cup and visa versa. Try and make light of it and, if possible, tell them about the problems (you may have read about) their role models have had with their supposedly ‘fantastic’ figure. Girls do seem to worry more than boys, so it also doesn’t hurt to explain that most guys don’t like super slim girls, they prefer girls to have a shape.

Make sure that you compliment them on the way they look rather than criticize, and particularly praise one of their finest features, such as lovely thick hair, beautiful green eyes, good legs. If they moan about their fat waist, say things like, ‘Well who’s looking at your waist when you’ve got those fantastic legs?’ Let’s face it, none of us are perfect (far from it, in fact) but we all have some endearing feature to offset our bad bits, like short fat arms but good teeth, no neck but a great smile, fat hips but amazing long fingers. And your teenager needs to be praised and complimented on their great attributes.

Also praise and encourage other qualities apart from their physical appearance. Perhaps they are good artists, musicians, loyal friends, good listeners, great raconteurs. Building their self-esteem this way will help them to concentrate less on their appearance.

Insist the family sits around a table to eat if possible a minimum of three nights a week. Provide healthy meals.

a healthy diet

Breakfast: Exchange the sugar-laden, high-salt cereals for any of the following options. Low-salt, low-sugar or sugar-free cereals. Boiled, poached or scrambled egg and brown toast, fruit, porridge with skimmed milk or yoghurt and honey or brown sugar. Milkshakes or a ‘smoothie’ made from putting fruit and yoghurt in a blender, adding wheat-germ or bran if possible. Grilled bacon and tomatoes. Baked beans on brown toast. Brown toast and marmite, or banana or a good quality jam or marmalade.

Lunch: School lunches are a bete noir of mine. Why did the government continually harp on about children becoming obese but give the schools such an appallingly low budget per child that there is little option but to buy chips, burgers and pizzas? Finally, thanks to Jamie Oliver, it looks as though school lunches are about to improve.

Fortunately, some schools offer a healthy option, so suggest your children choose the healthy option and just have the chips or burgers once a week. Explain that hamburgers, pizza and chips are laden with fat and will make them sluggish during the afternoon.

Packed lunch: Brown bread or wholemeal pitta bread sandwiches, pasta salad, cheese, fruit, nuts, yoghurt and a bottle of water to drink.

Supper: Grilled or roasted meat, fish or chicken, egg dishes, baked potatoes, fresh vegetables, different salads, pastas, rice, pulses, cheese and yoghurt or fruit for dessert. Milk, water or juices with no added sugar.

skipping meals

How to Help

Never let children go without breakfast, it is one of the most important meals of the day. It should provide protein to kick start the brain and some good carbs to slowly release energy throughout the morning.

Teenagers will often say they are not hungry and skip a meal. If they eat regularly and you don’t think they are doing it to try and lose weight, then it’s okay, they may simply not be hungry. However, if you have just spent an hour preparing a meal for the whole family and at the last minute they decide they don’t want to eat, then agree that if they are not hungry they don’t have to eat, but you still expect them to sit at the table and join the rest of the family. Inevitably, once they are sitting with everyone else eating, if the serving dishes are on the table they may well help themselves to a little. Don’t make any comments. Just enjoy.