F*ck Feelings: Less Obsessing, More Living

F*ck Feelings: Less Obsessing, More Living
Sarah Bennett

Dr. Michael Bennett

Heartbroken? Horrible boss? Confidence crisis? Rubenesque body? Anxious? Lonely?The solution is to find out what’s bothering you and change it, right?Sorry lady. WRONG.You aren’t going to suddenly start loving yourself. You aren’t going to just become the Best Version of Yourself. You can’t stop your dad drinking, or your rubbish boyfriend from breaking up with you.Fact is, there are some things you just can’t change, and will become miserable trying.Instead, Harvard-educated psychiatrist of 30 years Michael Bennett and his comedian daughter, Sarah, show you how to:• Stop overthinking• Make smarter decisions so you can manage whatever life throws at you• Stick to your values when good luck is nowhere to be found• Come away from bad situations with your self-respect and sanity intactThey may not promise lifelong happiness, but they do guarantee strength, pride, and a sense of humour.

Copyright (#u00d0a77e-3534-591a-a914-fc85580f42dc)

Thorsons

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk) This edition published by Thorsons 2016 FIRST EDITION Text © FXCK FEELINGS LLC 2016 Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2016 A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library FXCK FEELINGS LLC asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. It is sold with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical, health, or any other kind of personal professional services in the book. The reader should consult his or her medical, health, or other competent professional before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book. Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk/green) Source ISBN: 9780008140564 Ebook Edition © February 2016 ISBN: 9780008140588 Version: 2015-11-16

Dedication (#u00d0a77e-3534-591a-a914-fc85580f42dc)

For the previous generation, Claire and Dr. Jacob Bleiberg, and Beatrice and Jacob Bennett. Tough lives couldn’t stop them from sticking to their values and working hard so that our lives could be so much easier.

And for friend, mentor, and legendary mensch Dr. Ted Nadelson, who taught us that the best way to help people accept what’s tough about life is to make them laugh.

Epigraph (#u00d0a77e-3534-591a-a914-fc85580f42dc)

There’s no “should” or “should not” when it comes to having feelings. They’re part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings.

—Fred Rogers,The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

Contents

Cover (#u8067c621-a1df-5c8d-b55e-17e08ef6b3f1)

Title Page (#ua33ba525-c951-51a8-9ca4-68eed92c7546)

Copyright (#u22a6478d-49e5-53e0-9b82-127dce0d6c3a)

Dedication (#ua8699143-2ae7-5680-9cbb-6ea13dcc011f)

Epigraph (#u9b10e81d-8448-55db-b7c0-c4948f05343b)

Introduction: What’s Your Goal? (#u7ec5244f-b866-5d2e-ae5e-b8dccd54d451)

Chapter One Fuck Self-Improvement (#ue21d34c6-6295-52b7-8d69-451ed94b43c4)

Taking Back the Reins of Your Life (After a Stampede) (#ulink_160582ff-4f74-5b58-862a-83ba6defd349)

Getting to the Root of Your Problem . . . and Tearing It Out (#ulink_e91a35f7-dc30-5371-b6be-53b9e3ac02d5)

Becoming a More Positive Person (#ulink_02ea9c53-4b4e-5b9c-9f01-e0c4522324ae)

Stop Fucking Up (#ulink_83d9c3c3-fd4b-5355-888a-a234f0cf3dee)

Curing Yourself of Addiction (#ulink_4a32c12f-84e8-52f4-adbf-64fbe1afc5e2)

Chapter Two Fuck Self-Esteem (#u065c0ba0-0aca-54c0-a9f2-630dae083398)

Fighting the Loser’s Curse (#ulink_6c43c2fa-8bf4-54d1-a378-faa2911e23fd)

Unleashing the Power of Persuasion (#ulink_41fa209f-8c63-5fda-8d35-bc337ba9e68e)

Standing Up to Bullies (#ulink_27ed1c60-cbcb-5488-b7e7-ba71a40c277c)

Overcoming the Stigma of Disability (#ulink_c9d0461a-ceb2-5419-b3dd-64e3c038a5f2)

Saving Your Kid’s Self-Esteem (#ulink_85a49d52-a665-5a92-ba31-0ce9c2c58cd9)

Chapter Three Fuck Fairness (#uac07f5c3-54ee-5ae9-94fa-c4b9136f2869)

Defending Your Right to Live in Safety (#ulink_b4d5773d-3546-599b-a24d-22261754ff90)

Getting Closure After Childhood Abuse (#litres_trial_promo)

Getting a Square Deal (#litres_trial_promo)

Clearing Your Name (#litres_trial_promo)

Getting Justice and/or Closure (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Four Fuck Helpfulness (#litres_trial_promo)

Easing Others’ Sorrow (#litres_trial_promo)

Rescuing the Addicted (#litres_trial_promo)

Protecting Victims of Injustice (#litres_trial_promo)

Brokering Peace at Home (#litres_trial_promo)

Raising the Downtrodden (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Five Fuck Serenity (#litres_trial_promo)

Stop Hating the Ones You Love (#litres_trial_promo)

Accepting the Inescapably Annoying (#litres_trial_promo)

Facing Fear (#litres_trial_promo)

Healing Heartache (#litres_trial_promo)

Accepting Enmity (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Six Fuck Love (#litres_trial_promo)