e: A Novel

to… All Departments

cc…

re… for sale

BREVILLE WAFFLE IRON

• Jasmine yellow finish

• Nearly new

• Includes adapter to make perfect toastie sarnies!

• The perfect way to ‘toast’ the new Millennium!!

• First to see will buy

• £12 o.n.o.

Call x4667 – Nige

Harriet Greenbaum – 4/1/00, 9.04am

to… Simon Horne

cc…

re… Mako

For the record, Simon, I didn’t forget to tell you about Mako’s dislike of Little and Large. There was no need. You were at the client meeting before Christmas to hear it for yourself. If you’re going to tell lies to David about what I have or haven’t done, I’d prefer you didn’t do it when I’m in the room. It insults my intelligence.

Simon Horne – 4/1/00, 9.10am

to… Harriet Greenbaum

cc…

re… Mako

Do you realise the pressure I am under?

I am expected to manage and inspire a department of twelve creative teams.

I am required to represent the agency’s creative product to our clients – Philistines the lot.

On top of that I have somehow to find the time to deliver creative coups de grâce of my own.

If occasionally I forget some little thing a client says in a meeting, well, I am only human.

Si

Simon Horne – 4/1/00, 9.11am

to… Susi Judge-Davis

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re… stress

Migraine, migraine!

Susi Judge-Davis – 4/1/00, 9.12am

to… Simon Horne

cc…

re… stress

Coffee and Migraleve on the way, darling … Sx

Harriet Greenbaum – 4/1/00, 9.16am

to… Simon Horne

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re… Mako

I’m sorry to split hairs, but I wouldn’t have defined the client saying he not only hates Little and Large, but thinks them totally wrong for his brand as a ‘little thing’. All this, though, is academic. I suggest we now co-operate on finding a new campaign. Friday feels horribly close.

Brett Topowlski – 4/1/00, 9.35am

to… Liam O’Keefe

cc…

re… no-go zone

If you and Space Cadet First Class Pinki are planning to show Horne any ideas today, don’t. He’s in a right fucking mood. Vin and me took him our Reeves and Mortimer scripts for Freedom. He pissed all over them – said it was hardly the first time they’d been used. Vin pointed out that this was the first time anyone had used them in a mail-order shopping ad, but it didn’t wash. Who the fuck does he think he is, going on about originality? Poxy Little and fucking Large? Tosser. You know Barry Clement used to be his art director? My mate Nick is in his group at Abbott Mead now and apparently Clement claims Horne didn’t have one original thought in the four years they were together. Clement used to come up with all the ideas and all Horne ever said was, ‘Yes, love, but is it a gold?’ They haven’t spoken since they split up and Clement nearly lamped him at D&AD last year.

Anyway, what happened to you after BZ last night? You were all over that temp like chicken pox. Vin’s well pissed with you. Says he saw her first.

Susi Judge-Davis, 4/1/00, 9.39am

to… Creative Department

cc…